I had always told my parents and friends that I would grow up and become one of the world’s best programmers. I developed a deep interest in computers and software as early as seven years old, you see. That was when my 1st grade teacher allowed us to use a computer for the 1st time. She only taught eyes how to boot it and type our name on a notepad. As my classmates were more interested in banging their fingers on the keyboard, I was busy staring at the screen with a stupid grin on my face, dreaming of the day when I could make a similar software that other people would love to use.
However, I faced gender discrimination early in life. I am a female, and programming was seen as a job for males. It might no longer be the case in the 21st century, especially now that we are in 2021, but it was a big deal back in the day. Whenever I told my parents about my dream, they would ask me to become a model, nurse, or actress.
What my parents did not account for was my inability to submit to what people expected of me. It would mean that I would be unable to follow my dreams, and I could not accept them. Despite their efforts to enroll me in a ballet school or make me do theater work, I refused to do any of that and stayed in my room. They eventually gave in and allowed me to apply for a programming degree in college.
When My Depression And Anxiety Started
I found out that my parents’ views were more common than mine. I learned that firsthand when I went to a college to send my application personally. The administrator asked me thrice if I was applying to make sure I wasn’t mistaken, but I told them that I genuinely wanted to be a programmer. I technically met all their requirements, so they accepted me, albeit reluctantly.
When the semester started, I felt the need to prove my worth because I was the only girl in that class. All my classmates seemed to bond over everything, but they tended to leave me out of things because of my gender. It made me lonely, to be honest, but I still pushed through because I wanted to program in my life.
Then, when it was time for me to look for a job, I faced another hurdle. The first two companies that I applied for specifically told me that most firms only looked for male programmers – there was no room for a female in that department. This brutal revelation made my confidence wane, and it showed in my worsening subsequent interviews.
What is situational anxiety?
Situational anxiety is a short-term type of anxiety that you experience when you face a worrying situation. For instance, you may feel nervous because of an interview, school performance, or presentation.
What are the four types of depression?
- Bipolar disorder
- Seasonal affective disorder
- Persistent depressive disorder
What is situational disorder?
Situational depression is a mental disorder that a person typically experiences due to stress. When you get over that situation, it tends to go away on its own.
Is depression a behavioral issue?
No, depression is a mood issue. Despite that, it can make you behave differently.
What are the five signs of mental illness?
- You cannot stop worrying or getting paranoid, no matter how much others assure you that everyone is safe.
- It does not feel like anything can lift your spirits or make you relax.
- Your mood does not seem to stabilize for days.
- You refuse to socialize with anyone – even with your family.
- You eat or sleep excessively or not at all.
What does a mental breakdown look like?
A mental breakdown looks like you have lost control of everything, so you cannot help but cry it all out or behave erratically.
What is a psychotic break?
A psychotic break entails that an individual who is supposedly free from psychosis already starts to experience delusions and hallucinations again.
Do you cry during a mental breakdown?
Not everyone who experiences a mental breakdown cries, to be honest. Many people also feel depressed, detached, angry, or fearful, but they do not always cry.
What triggers psychosis?
Psychosis is typically triggered by other existing mental conditions like bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, severe anxiety or depression, and sleep deprivation. If you must know, many of these illnesses have at least one symptom similar to that of psychosis.
What are the early warning signs of psychosis?
- You feel inappropriate emotions towards a specific situation.
- You want to be alone, even if you didn’t use to be like that.
- You act suspiciously towards everyone, including the people you have known forever.
- You rarely or no longer shower, brush your teeth, change your clothes, etc.
- You cannot think straight most days.
How can I stop being so sensitive?
If you do not want to be too sensitive anymore, you must do the following:
- Write about the situations that hurt you instead of lashing out. You need not be a writer to do that. It should be no different from writing in your diary.
- Ask yourself, “Why do I feel overly sensitive?” Is it because of how people react to what you say or do? Is it because you care too much about others’ opinions? Whatever it is, find a way to resolve your issues.
- Keep in mind that berating yourself for being too sensitive will not ease your problems. In truth, it can worsen everything, considering you are only focusing on negative thoughts.
- Try not to obsess about the littlest things you see or hear. That is called overthinking, and it will only do you harm in the end.
- Take a deep breath and think of how you should react in every situation, especially if it is an awful one. It does not mean you should hide your anger or irritation when you do not feel respected – it just means that you should decide if the person who made you feel that way is worthy of your attention.
- Welcome constructive criticisms. Doing so may feel like encouraging others to throw rocks at you, but you should let them do that and listen to every word objectively. That’s the only way for you to realize your misgiving and improve yourself.
- Understand that not everyone hates you, even if it seems that way. Often, those people you claim to hate you are merely too busy with their lives to caring about yours, so chill.
Is crying a sign of weakness?
No, crying is undoubtedly not a sign of weakness, even though you may have been told in the past that crybabies are losers. Over time, you will realize that crying indicates that you are brave enough to show your negative emotions to others.
I struggled with situational depression and anxiety for months. It came to a point when I thought of changing my path instead of breaking the mold. Things only got better when I went to counseling and understood my worth as a person. I became more prepared for my interviews and showed them how I could become an asset to the company. I soon received offers from one but five companies, all wanting me to start immediately.