Breakup is a topic I never knew I’d be good at, including surviving it. When I became a family counselor, I anticipated that my clients would mostly be couples, kids, or parents. Family counseling could cover every possible issue that may affect the relationship between spouses, children, and parents, and that includes breakups.
In hindsight, it was not the fact that programmers wanted to book an appointment with me that shocked me the most.
I lived near the Silicon Valley; I had several posters strategically in some tech companies. More importantly, my clinic sat along the main road, so it would have caught the attention of the people who went to work in Silicon Valley every day.
What’s most interesting about it was the number of individuals willing to do the one-on-one session with a counselor to understand the best way to move on from the heartbreak. Programmer or not, I would call that progress. It meant that people were getting wiser about surviving a breakup.
Let’s talk more about a breakup and surviving it.
Breakup – How To Mend A Broken Heart
As you probably know (or you may have experienced yourself), heartbroken individuals tend to adopt harmful coping mechanisms. They go through heartbreaks differently. For instance, some may drown their loneliness in alcohol or partying. Others may swim in tubs of ice cream and junk foods.
If you feel down today before your girlfriend or boyfriend just broke up with you, allow me to share some of my clients’ journeys.
Different Journeys And Stories
Programmer #1: the Martyr
Cristina had a playboy boyfriend who she believed was way out of her league. Because of that, whenever the guy would cheat on her with different women, she felt the need to forgive him.
How To Overcome A Heartache
Can you survive heartache on your own?
Cristina gave me a call when her boyfriend ended up getting another girl pregnant, and she could not decide if she should take him back. The clear answer is that Cristina should stay as far away from that guy as possible, but she could not make up her mind due to her insecurities. Thus, I helped her build self-confidence so that she would stop being a martyr. Their breakup was devastating for Cristina but she was bent on surviving it no matter what. She succeeded after months of heartbreak counseling.
Programmer #2: The Workaholic
Gerard was married when he launched a tech startup in Silicon Valley. He did not come from money, so he worked day and night to ensure that his wife and future kids would never worry about bills ever. However, in his business, Gerard forgot to spend quality time with his wife, which caused them to grow apart.
Gerard sought my help when he received the divorce papers from his spouse. He found the breakup challenging to accept because all his hard work was dedicated to her.
Still, I reminded Gerard that money never made the world go around and that overcoming the split should be his priority.
Programmer #3: The Overly Romantic
Evan was a computer whiz who always felt introverted. Hence, when Lena, a beautiful British girl, approached him, he did everything to make her happy. Every night was their date night; every weekend meant a holiday trip. He also professed his love for her every minute of the day. Unfortunately, it’s all those antics that scared Lena and pushed her to leave him.
When Evan came to my clinic to share his story, he felt highly wronged about the split since he did not hold back in showing his love for Lena. He agreed to go into heartbreak counseling.
I reminded him, “You need to remember to chill on your next relationship and let the women make an effort on her own, too,” I said.
Surviving that breakup was truly an achievement for Evan.
While my breakup clients’ scenarios are different when it comes to overcoming their heartbreak, I often need to remind them that those people they chose to shower with affection were lucky to have them.
The breakup actually was a blessing for them and coping up was rewarding for me and for them as well.
However, as in the examples above, I also have to remind my clients to balance everything and be confident in themselves. You cannot be confident at your workplace alone – you must show confidence in your relationship so that you won’t step over or be stepped on by your partner.
Frequently Asked Questions
- What are the 5 stages of a breakup?
- How long does it take to survive a breakup?
- How long should it take to recover from a breakup?
- How do you survive a breakup if you are still in love?
- How do you let go of someone you love?
- What should you not do after a break-up?
- What is the hardest stage of a breakup?
- How do you know if the break-up is final?
- Who moves on faster after a breakup?
- What is the best way to get over someone?